“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
― Louise L. Hay,
*Edit: I felt like I need to add a very important part I forgot to mention. When I say “don’t let anybody criticize your lifestyle” and “be yourself”, I obviously mean that you should only pay attention to constructive criticism and not to sterile criticism. If i.e. people in your life are showing rightful concern for your lifestyle and therefore criticizing you for it in a loving and healthy way, that is to say keeping in mind your higher good, then of course you should pay attention to it. Self-analysis and self-criticism is healthy and it allows us to evolve. However, when the critism only aims to destroy your sense of self-worth and does not aim to your highest good, than it is just rubbish or sterile criticism.
Loving yourself doens’t mean you should become an entitled asshole who’s oblivious to its own flaws. It just means that you should try to be your best version and surround yourself with people who want your highest (and their highest) good.*
There is little we can do about it: some people just don’t like us and no matter how hard we try to please them, their opinion is not going to change. Ever.
Whether this is taking place inside your family or your circle of friends and acquaintances, you might end up feeling like you are never going to be good enough for them. No matter how hard you try to become a person they can be proud of, you will never truly have their approval and they won’t see you differently. They seem somehow stuck with a previous idea they had of you and nothing can change that. The urge to do just about anything to feel accepted and to please everyone is a sign of your own insecurity. But the truth is, you don’t need external love to start loving yourself. Taking care of yourself is not only your priority but also the essential feature which will determine how healthy your relationships with others will be from now on.
Insecurity becomes a real issue when you get to the point where being accepted is somehow more important than being happy and at peace with yourself. Therefore, you might end up behaving in a way that is not yours or make decisions in secret hope that by doing so, you are going to be respected and loved by those around you. But once you get there, you realize nothing has really changed and you are still as anxious to be accepted as ever.
Here’s a list of the things you need to remember:
- You can’t please everyone. As much as you want to believe that you can, you actually cannot please every single person in your life. You are not living to be a portrait of what they consider to be successful. You are here to be yourself.
- The US President theory. This is something I came up with and I always repeat it to myself when I feel that I am not good enough or someone wants me to meet unrealistic standards. I say to myself: “Remember, even if you were the US President, that wouldn’t be good enough for some people anyways. You might as well be yourself and have fun in the process”.
- Be aware of your self-worth. Appreciating yourself and being proud of who you are is crucial in order to live a healthier, happier life. Knowing that no matter what others think of you, you will always have your biggest fan inside of you will make you less anxious to please others.
- There’s the door. This should become your mantra. Surround yourself with people who respect you and love you for who you truly are as a person. Don’t allow anyone to criticize your lifestyle and choices just because you gave them a place in your heart. Life is too short to make it a kingdom of negativity. If anyone mistreats you, kindly point to them the nearest door. Don’t forget to lock it.
I hope you liked the tips. Please share this article with anyone you know who might benefit from it. Do you want me to discuss a specific topic?
Email me: email@example.com
Tweet me: @hermetickitten