10 K:Reflections on how ASMR turned my life upside down


10.000 subscribers. Kiki. Ten thousand. I savoured that word in my mouth, just to make it real.

“Come on Kiki, it’s not about a number”, I said to myself.
“I know, but it’s just so incredible. Ten thousand? I don’t even know 100 people!”
“That is because ASMR people are generous and kind”, I observed.
” I know. How will I be able to repay them? How can I thank them enough?”, I asked.
“Just keep on doing what you do: do your best with what you have“.
“You might be right”, I mumbled to myself.
“What? What is it?”, I asked.
” I… I don’t know. I feel so overwhelmed and happy, I just can’t believe it”, I genuinely answered.
“Then keep on working hard and have fun, like you always did”.
” Yes…”
“What? Are you crying now? What on earth is wrong with you?”, I asked.
“I am not crying because I am sad, I am crying because of these emotions flowing through me. I found ASMR in a moment of need, when I was desperately trying to rescue what was left of my fragmented self. And now, when I read those comments, when I know I can provide some help and provoke relaxation to make people happy… I could not feel more satisfied”.

“This is the part of you that you should be taking great care of”, I said.
“I know”, I replied. “This is the healthiest thing I could do. It gives me hope”.
“They give you hope”.
“10.000 friends, many wonderful people, they do give me hope. They made all of this possible”, I sobbed again.
“Just stop crying now”, I said.
“Yeah, I should”, I giggled.
“You should make something special for this achievement. And many more”.
“Like what?”, I said.
“Let them read this conversation, as awkward as it may seem”.
“I don’t know”, I replied.
“Just do it. ASMRers will appreciate it. If they like you, they like me. They like every side of you. They like all of us”.

It was a fair point, well made. I could not object.
“So, what should I do now?”, I asked.
“Start writing”, I said.
“Many people are waiting for me to share my stories. But this is not a story, this is me”.
“Just start writing, already!”, I growled.
I lowered my head and started typing this little conversation between my selves.
Well, this is me, guys. I wanted to give you something in return, for all the love and the affection, the awesome support that you give me on a daily basis. You turned my life around and believed in me right from the start.

                                      This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,

May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! 
                                                    [Romeo and Juliet]
This relaxation channel is a bud of love and day after day after day, we take care of it. You help me with your comments, your sweet words, your support and your encouragement. It will become a beautiful flower and so will happen inside my soul. That is because of you.In my school diaries, in my personal notepads, when I scribbled my thoughts, I would always write the same thing: “I give my best, when people trust me. If you trust me, everything is possible”. This recurrent thought is most certainly fitting, in this case.
ASMR is the best part of me.
YOU make it possible.Thank you for being so special. Meow

Posted by

Hello! I am Kiki and I make ASMR videos on youtube. My aim is to relax you and tingle you! I am a translator who also happens to write a lot. Being a writer has always been my lifelong dream. I am also very fond of languages. I hope you will have fun on my website! Love and hugs Kiki

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